Hai, I have been not sleeping well for a time beings le... And i don't know why... I think is because i'm afraid of something.. Maybe i'm afraid that once i fall asleep, I would never wake up again.. I know this was the wish i wanted to have lastime.. But now i treated that i have never say this wish before... Because i'm scared that i would say bye bye to this world, And i can't see her anymore... And i don't want this to happen.. Cause i don't wanna leave her alone, I don't wanna see her alone.. Is ok that i'm alone and not her....... Because i don't want to see her suffer, I know if she really suffer i will cry more harder... Is ok that i suffer everything, Because i know that i can take it, And i'm afraid that she can't take it.... Alright, I'm chatting with her on MSN now... I told her i lose in sparring.. She ask me to train, But i don't think is any needs for me to train back bah. Cause i don't think is any needs for me le... As i said, I promise her i will be a good person ( Wo Hui Hao Hao ZuaRen) :) .... And i don't think that i have anymore self - confidence le... Because i have lost her, As i said, I lost her means i lost everything.. Everything have gone... My power and fighting spirits, Have don't know gone till where.. And i can't find back them.. Maybe is they are hiding inside my body for too long.. And is time for me to give them some freedom... Let them play till they are happy i'm sure they will come back again...... Hai, Today finally i eat something.. For breakfast and dinner only.. Yesterday i did not eat for my dinner.. Because i have no mood... Hai, So far today i have not been crying... But i don't know weather night i will cry not... As like i really have never been sleeping.. Cause i'm always waiting for her.. i'm scared that if i fallen asleep, And i have no more time to wait for her.. I'm really afriad of this.. And you, Don't blame yourself for hurting me... Is not your fault.. Ok.. You are always the best... Alright.. Hai, Actually, Seriously i'm sad... But i don't want to see her sad.. So i have to act strong.. But don't worry ah, I will still be back myself.. It just need time.. But i don't know how long will it be... And i'm missing her now... I can't stop thinking of her... I don't know why.. Hai, I feels like i'm a failure... Is girl, Don't blame yourself for hurting me deeply.. Is ok.. I don't wanna see you like that too... Is ok that you hurt me.... I wont blame you for this... Alright.. Is better that i'm hurt than you are hurts... Ok.... And sometime i really feel uncomfortable.. Because, I don't hear her voice, I don't hear her nagging at me and i can't hear her laughter... Today, I'm almost fall, cause i trip on something.. And that the part where i really feels very uncomfortable.. Becuase i don't hear her laughing at me when i going to fall.. And i dont't hear her nagging at me.. I dont hear a pestering me for something.. And i don't all this things irritating at all.. Because she's happy, I'm happy.. I really love her lots, I really miss her lots... I want her.. But no matter what i will still be waiting, Wait and wait and wait... Hai, And i would do whatever she ask me to do.. No matter how suffer it is.. Because for the sake of her, Cause of her, I'm not afraid of everything, Even death....
Alright i will stop here.. And i just want you to know that I Miss You. And I love You...
And no matter what i have to do, I will wait for you.. Alright...
Take Care Guys...
Bye..

Alex Lee (Jia0weikia) IMY & ILY

♥